As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
