kristin has been a bad kristin
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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