either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
