so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
As shirtless as possible
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
