U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
