So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
