I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
