Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
