I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize