Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
