is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
sex in a hospital.. check
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
