Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
