you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
there was a trapeze. enough said
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
