.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
