you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
