The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
