did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
