Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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