why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
