We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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