wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
