can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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