I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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