Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my vag is so smooth its legendary
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
