I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
