fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
