I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
