I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Found your dick twin last night
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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