He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
