The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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