Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
