I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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