ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I need a beard to bite.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
