i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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