If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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