Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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