I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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