I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
