We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
