So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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