I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
