i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
