dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
