What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
