Small penises have feelings too.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
