I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
