CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
