well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
