What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
