Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
