"it" just moved
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just want nice things and good sex
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
