I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
