Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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