There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
