It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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