just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She just used a chaser for red wine.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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