I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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