So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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