Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize