Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
