I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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