Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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