Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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