I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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